AU: Teen Olympians
by Buttons579
Summary: After an Apollo prank gone terribly wrong, Artemis and Apollo get themselves punished by Zeus with 2 glorious years of high school. The plot thickens when she meets her long lost love, Orion. Rated T for language.


**Warning: Language**

* * *

She's had her eyes on that cow for a while.

It was indeed a remarkable specimen of the Belted Galloway variety. The Scottish bovine had the fluffiest fur, the whitest stripe running through its abdomen, the strongest teeth. It was the kind of cow which mortals would sell for no less than thousands, particularly because it was of such rare breed; she reckoned there must have been no more than ten thousand of them in the whole world. But, most importantly, it was Hera's pride and joy. The goddess regarded the animal with sheer, ample delight.

Artemis knew, from the moment she laid eyes on it, that she would have to hunt down that one cow, if only to spite her stepmother. No, _particularly_ to spite her stepmother. Besides, she'd claimed it could rival Apollo's cattle, and that was utterly unacceptable. There were no bovines prettier than her little brother's.

All of which led to her current situation. Her idiot of a twin had, once again, pulled a trick on her. She'd been with her brother from day one, so she could safely say she'd gotten used to his antics; every once in a while he'd go a bit too far and she'd give him the silent treatment for a century or two, but mostly, she didn't mind his jokes much. She did, of course, make a point of antagonizing him as much as she could, just _because._

This time, however, his prank had provided her with more than a source of mild annoyance – it had given her the perfect opportunity. Absent mindedly, she drew her bow, aimed, and released an arrow. It hit its mark perfectly on a monster's head, and she let her eyes scan the room once more. It was, to put it simply, a complete mess. Heart-shaped boxes and flowers littered the floor, together with torn fliers which wished her 'happy dating, sister'. She kicked a broken chair and took down another of her suitors – a gigantic Cyclops.

_Hilarious, brother._

'You do realize, Apollo, that you cannot hide from me forever,' She called out casually while she scouted the place for her twin. He was ridiculously easy to spot; he was, after all, not exactly sneaky. Still, she walked around to the opposite direction, pretending she hadn't seen him.

'Even though,' She continued. 'Had you brought demigods instead of monsters, it might have ended differently. There are many heroes on this present day that I find quite… interesting.'

She could hear him gritting his teeth. A sly smirk appeared on her face.

_Ever so zealous._

'You know I have a weak spot for children of Poseidon,' She teased. 'Although, there was that son of Zeus, what was his name again? The one I had fifty daughters with…_ Endymion_. And he was my half-brother, too.'

That did it – that _always_ did it. While her brother and Helios fused together smoothly, the same could not be said for Selene and Artemis. Sometimes the two simply didn't match, and Endymion was one of those cases.

Apollo burst out from his cover, shaking with anger.

'That was _Selene!_' He roared. 'Selene, not you! Just because the romans saw fit to cram you all together in Diana –'

Without hesitating, she turned to face him, releasing her arrow as she did. At the last second, he dodged to the left and, realizing his mistake, lifted his open hands in a gesture of peace.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, sister –"

He jumped off her arrow's path again.

"You know I didn't mean anything by it –"

This time, it grazed his cheek. She kept firing carelessly, gradually moving him to where she needed him to be. Then, abruptly, she stopped.

"Okay, I'm, truly sorry, sister –"

She wasn't listening. She tuned him out and focused entirely on the task ahead. The instructions on her head were still voiced by her brother, but this time, in a very distant memory.

_Rest your arrow._

She switched the arrow to the right side of the bow – though she could fire at any position, it was going to be an impossibly difficult shot, and she was, in fact, left-handed.

_Watch your footing_.

Sideways, right foot front, left foot back. Breathe in, raise the bow. She carefully took aim – not at Apollo, but at the window above him.

Her brother stopped mid-sentence and narrowed his eyes at her, sensing something else was at work there.

_Choose your draw._

Forefinger above the arrow, middle and ring finger below – classic and efficient, the Mediterranean Draw. Breathe out, slowly.

_Anchor point._

Half the air was gone from her lungs; she held the other half as she drew the string until the fletching brushed against her cheek.

One.

_This is your last chance to back out._

The voice was no longer Apollo's, but her mother's. It was the voice of her conscience warning her against doing something stupid.

Two.

_You do realize you'll get in trouble._

But she wasn't even sure she'd hit. It was, in every sense, a long shot. Yes. Chances were great she'd miss.

Three.

_Zzzzzzzzzzz… WOOSH!_

Off went her arrow – through the open window and away, vanishing into the horizon as a shaft of moonlight. She released the other half of her breath.

'Oops,' she muttered, a mischievous smile on her face. 'Missed you, Apollo. Yikes. If only you'd stood quietly and let me shoot you, such tragic accident would never have happened.'

'Sister,' He said in a careful, slightly panicked tone. 'What exactly were you aiming for?'

She didn't have time to answer, as a curling scream exploded into her head. She covered her ears with her hands and saw her twin doing the same. Even then, she could not erase the grin off her face.

'Bullseye, brother. And quite literally, too.'

* * *

'You shot the cow,' Zeus stated emotionlessly. He had his head leaned against his hand and a tired expression on his face. 'I told you that cow was strictly off limits.'

They were in the throne room now, facing the Olympian Council. Not all were present, of course – the gods wouldn't assemble for the return of the Titans, let alone for something so menial as the slaughter of a bovine.

She spotted Athena sitting on her throne, furiously scribbling on a notebook. Dionysius was present as well – he'd do anything to escape his punishment at Camp. Beyond them, there were also Hermes, Hephaestus and, of course, her twin, Apollo.

'Even though the hunting of _all_ beasts is in my domain,' she answered with the unwavering confidence of someone who had all her lies planned ahead, '_That _kill was a complete accident._'_

'You released an arrow,' Hera snarled, fuming. 'It coincidentally hit the one cow I've been talking about _right on the eye _and you want me to believe it was _an accident?_'

'But of course,' Artemis replied innocently. 'If I wished a cow, I would simply ask Apollo for one. It is widely known his cattle are unmatchable in beauty and quality.'

Her brother's lips twitched on the slightest of smirks.

'You shot an arrow,' Hera repeated. 'In _New York. _It hit my cow, right on the eye, _in Kansas._'

'One more reason why it was an accident,' she smiled sweetly. 'Even Apollo couldn't have made such a long shot, and he's always been the better archer. Isn't that right, brother?'

'Damn straight,' Her twin replied, nodding emphatically. 'There is no way my sister could have hit that cow on purpose. Stray arrow is what happened, father.'

Hera was about to start off again, but Zeus raised his hand on a stop signal and spoke.

'Penalty for your offense is unavoidable.' He rubbed his brow. 'Since I cannot prove, however, that it was an actual act of indiscipline, you shall be punished lightly.'

'This is utterly absurd –' Hera began.

'My word is final,' Zeus interrupted. 'A hundred years with the mortals for the both of you.'

_Well, damn._

'Two hundred sounds better,' Dionysius commented. 'Since there are two of them.'

Aaah, Dionysius. Always an insufferable brat.

'We _are_ doing two hundred,' Apollo replied. 'A hundred each. Unless you meant fifty each, father? That'd add to a hundred.'

'How about two?' She suggested, giving her father the puppy eyes.

'You should get at least _two millennia _– '

'Father, if I may,' Athena interjected before Hera could continue. Zeus motioned for her to speak.

'I have made calculations,' The goddess said, showing her notebook. 'Ballistics, trajectories, speed and height –'

_Uh-oh. Busted._

She eyed the curves and graphs on the paper. She doubted anyone else besides her and her sister could actually understand what it meant, so perhaps there was still a chance –

' – And have arrived at the conclusion that goddess of archery or not, it was indeed an impossible shot.'

Athena gave her a long, meaningful look, and she had to fight back a smile. Count on her sister to turn the proof of her guilt into evidence of her discreetly gave her a wink.

'Sounds like pure bad luck to me,' Hephaestus said. 'Why give a heavy penalty for bad luck? Two years look good.'

'Two is about right,' Hermes approved.

'Since the sentence should be given on their carelessness rather than on disobedience, two years do seem like a fair time,' Athena agreed. 'Punishing them simply for behaving immaturely would be quite hypocritical, father.'

The good thing about having a hateful stepmother, Artemis mused, was that every sibling was also an accomplice.

'Two years it is, then –'

A blaze of light interrupted him, and they turned to see a recently arrived Aphrodite materializing on her throne. Late as always.

'So, what did I miss?' The newcomer asked. Zeus frowned.

'Aphrodite. Perhaps you need to be reminded of the meaning of _immediate summons_?'

'I came as fast as I could,' The goddess retorted.

Sure she did.

Her father sighed, visibly exhausted. 'Since you came in late, I'll leave the bureaucratic details of the twin's sentence up to you.' He waved them off. 'Dismissed.'

_Nononononono – Gods damn it!_

She was hoping it'd be Athena picking the details; she _knew_ Aphrodite would choose the most despicable place to send them. But with Aphrodite doing the paperwork, she'd probably spend the next two years as a stripper in Vegas. She grimaced.

'Wait a second, the twins got _condemned?_' She laughed, and Artemis fought back the urge to walk up there and slap her. She definitely didn't need any more trouble.

'How much did they get? A hundred? Two?'

'Not nearly enough!' Hera whined.

_I don't need this shit._

She flashed herself out of the throne room and walked her way through the path that led to one of her temples. She'd have to get her hunters ready for an extended period by themselves, plus find someone to drive the moon –

'I said the truth back there, you know.'

She turned to find Athena walking besides her.

'It _was_ an impossible shot,' Her sister continued. 'Literally so. You'd have to shoot the arrow high enough for it to get into orbit, and then it would never hit, because it would be _orbiting_. Which, of course, proves you guilty. Under no circumstances it could have been an accident.'

She acquiesced with a nod and a vaguely wolfish smile crossed her features. 'But only you would know that, sister dearest, and not for a second did I doubt you would vouch for me.'

That was a lie.

'Liar,' Athena accused, and Artemis laughed.

'You deserved more. A hundred at least. Your childish quarrel with Hera is bound to get us in trouble.'

She couldn't deny it. She had to admit she got off easily.

'Well, she _did_ try to prevent my birth, so it is safe to say it is not a feud I started,' She replied casually, then took something off her pocket. 'Will you take the moon while I am away?'

She offered the metaphorical chariot keys to her sister, then tilted her head innocently at her scowling face.

'I could ask Aphrodite instead,' She offered. 'Love under moonlight and such.'

The keys were snatched from her fingers and she couldn't stop herself from chuckling.

'Six thousand years, and it still surprises me what a devilish little thing you are, Artemis.' Athena complained. 'Your serious demeanor and mature façade go a great way to disguise the _imp_ you are at heart.'

'I cannot let Apollo and Hermes have all the fun now, can I?'

'But you don't hesitate to let them take all the blame,' The older goddess retorted. 'Or the troublemaker reputation.'

'I am a hunter. I hide my tracks well.'

'Indeed you do. But I didn't know you were a thief also,' Athena responded.

She gave her sibling a honestly puzzled look.

'Aphrodite's favorite comb. That was you, wasn't it?'

Oh, _that_.

'What is a thief if not a hunter who preys on other people's belongings?' She answered nonchalantly, then grinned. 'Come now, sister. Just ask what you are dying to ask already.'

The goddess of wisdom rolled her eyes, but did it anyway. '_How_ in Hades did you hit that cow?'

She stopped in front of her temple and began climbing up the steps. Her sister stood on the porch, waiting expectantly.

'Heard some mortals got trouble on their phone signals today,' Artemis commented. 'Wonder why that was?'

A pause. Athena cocked a single eyebrow.

'You bounced it off a satellite.' It wasn't a question. 'Impressive.'

She turned back, faced her companion, and gave a dramatic bow, as if thanking an audience for applause. Then, without lingering any further, she walked in. She had preparations to do, and she suspected she had two very long years ahead.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

_Some of you may be already familiar with this story; I've been posting it on tumblr. I brought it to this website hoping that I would actually be able to achieve a semblance of order in this AU, and that you the people would perhaps nag me into actually writing it. I am, after all, a lazy person._

_Credit goes to Mirelleortega for the idea and the artwork involved. Oh, and for the shameless ripped off story summary. Do check her out, she draws pretty stuff._

_All in all, thank you very much for your time!_


End file.
